Sunday, December 18, 2022

Three Blind Mice...and Then There's Me

Several years ago, after years of working on a computer at work, I needed to get eyeglasses for reading and doing stuff up close. Things like computer work, knitting, and anything else where I would be needing to see 1-2 feet in front of me. 

Up until then I had had perfect vision well into my 40’s and part of my 50’s. I could nail those vision charts at the eye doctor like I had memorized the letters on the chart. I could read right on down to the fine print at the bottom right corner where it said “Made in USA”. My eyes were just that good.

Well fast forward to about 3 years ago when I went to get my eyes checked. Not only did I need a stronger reader prescription, but the optometrist wanted to do a little correction for my far distance. What the heck? And as I listened to the eye doctor tell me it was normal for my eyes to change as I age, I wasn’t in the mood to start wearing glasses full time. But he gave me a prescription for progressive lenses anyway.

Well as time went on, I was spending more time on the computer at work due to changing jobs and having to enter all my nursing charting and much more on the computer. I needed those readers 100% of the time for up close stuff. And the time had come when I was getting tired of either taking off the glasses to see farther ahead of me or worse yet, wearing the glasses halfway down my nose and looking over them like the cranky librarian I remembered as a kid.

So I went on the computer and went to the online eyeglasses place where you can buy prescription glasses for ⅓ the cost of buying in a store. But the only problem is you can’t try them in person. You have to take a picture of yourself and then you can put eyeglasses on your face in that picture. The only problem I was running into was that I needed to take the cheater glasses off to take the picture. So I couldn’t see what I was doing when trying to take a picture on the laptop. I took several pictures on my laptop and most were either too close or too far away, or worse yet they were of me squinting trying to see what I was doing.

After about 7 or 8 attempts I did manage to get a picture the right distance away from the laptop and I had my eyes open and my head straight and not tilted. So I could start browsing through the hundreds and hundreds of eyeglasses they had. After several try-ons I chose a pair of plastic frames with the progressive lens, thinking they would hold up the best. I paid the amount and within about 2 weeks my new “wear all the time” glasses had arrived. 

I put them on and looked in the mirror. Besides taking up most of my face and feeling like I was looking through the bottoms of drinking glasses,, they were lightweight and I could see out of them. I would use them for work and use just the cheap readers at home.

Within 5 minutes of putting them on, I leaned over to pick up something off the floor, and they fell right off my face. So off to Walmart I went to get them adjusted. The person at Walmart in the eye department told me she could do a little adjustment but plastic frames are hard to adjust. So she did what she could and they felt a little better.

I got home and spent the day wearing them. I kept them on and attempted to get used to the progressive lenses. They were fine when reading off the laptop, but when trying to find the spot to look farther out several feet, I wasn’t having too good of luck finding the “sweet spot” of the distant view. I took them off and left them set by my laptop. I was just going to have to go with the cranky librarian look with the readers halfway down my nose.

Eventually I did figure out how to look through the progressive lenses and not feel like a drunken sailor walking, but it really messed with my depth perception. That would take a few more weeks to figure out. So once I figured out the “how” of looking through progressive lenses I decided to order a spare pair. The pair I had kept falling off my face everytime I bent over to pick something up. I decided maybe wire frames would be more adjustable.

So once again I sat down at the laptop and “tried on” glasses online. I found a plain pair of wire rims and ordered them. When I got them they fit much better and for the most part didn’t fall off my face. But I still pretty much only wore them for up close tasks. And that meant the glasses got set down on tables, got put in a pocket and sent through the washing machine, were left on a table in the yard for Max to find and bring to me. He even found them in pieces in the yard after I had mowed the lawn and they had fallen off the top of my head where they were propped while mowing. Unfortunately Max had found them after the lawn mower had found them first and shredded them. But he managed to deliver every piece he found. He does a better job than me when it comes to my glasses.

This has been pretty much my eyeglasses life the past 5 or 6 years. I have gone through about 10+ pairs of bifocals at least. I am careless, reckless and forgetful all in one when it comes to wearing glasses. And yet I find I am needing them more and more daily to get around in life. 

The other day I was outside working and leaned over to pick something up. Off went my glasses and onto a rock in the driveway. I picked them up and saw a huge chip in the lens. They were now pretty worthless. They were only about 5 weeks old and already I had busted them.

I went online to order new ones and got into a chat on the website where I buy my glasses. I told the person I just got them and they got chipped by the rock on the road. She asked me to wait a few minutes and then she came back into the chat. She told me that since I was such a great customer (probably because I bought 4+ pairs the past year) she would send me a replacement pair for free. So I am waiting for the new ones to come in the mail. While I wait I am wearing the old plastic ones when needed. And yes they continue to fall off my face multiple times a day.

I have to say that I have come to have a whole new respect for those who wear glasses daily and can keep them from falling off their face. I am in awe of those who remember where they set their glasses down and can find them right away. And most importantly…I have a whole new understanding for those who wear the progressive lenses and can walk a straight line. As for me and my eyes…we are still learning all those abilities. In the meantime, I just make sure Max is there to remind me that I wear glasses these days. He has taken on the job of being the keeper of my eyeglasses. Good job Max, you are better at it than this human.

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