Let's Take a Trip...or Maybe Not

The past two or three weeks we have been planning and getting excited for a few weeks down South somewhere where it is warm and sunny. We spent time cleaning out Hannah Savanna, our traveling van, and looking at maps and figuring places to go and see in the South. 

I even went online and bought a 500 page book that covers all the national parks and monuments in the USA. I never knew there were so many national parks in the US! I looked throughout Florida, Louisiana, Texas, New Mexico and Arizona. Trying to pick places to see was like when being a kid in a candy store. There are just that many places to see in our country. 

We finally had it narrowed down to the SouthWest part of the country and so I made a list of places we’d be driving by and places not too far out of the way. And there were many. It sure didn’t seem like we’d be at a lack of seeing the sights. And we could take up to 3 weeks before we needed to be back home. And then it happened. 

We started listening to the weather reports closely for where we were planning to go…and it was pretty much one storm after another that was supposed to go through right where we were planning to go. At least for a good part of our time down South. The temps would be in the 30-40 range at night and just in the 40-50’s in the day.

After looking at that and then looking at the Minnesota weather it wasn’t much of a change. Our weather was going to be in the 30-40’s range in the daytime. Enough to at least not feel like we were shut in. 

So once again we sat at the kitchen table weighing the pros and cons of taking a trip South in the next few weeks. And after doing the gas math we made a decision that it wasn’t really worth driving down South to be in similar weather to what we are having right now here in Minnesota. We just sat together at the table shaking our heads and feeling a bit disgusted and dejected.

Trying to justify staying home, I looked at the recent bank account balance and realized over the past week or two we had spent much of the money we were going to use on the trip. 

My driver’s license was due, we had to transfer the title of a recent new used vehicle and we had to pay out the first three months of me starting on Medicare. We also had to pay into state taxes this year and pay the tax guy. Like I said, it was just about what we had allocated for the trip South. 

That realization did help us decide that a trip South isn’t in our plans this Winter. We had planned a Winter trip and then a Summer trip to see the kids and grandkids out West. If we wanted to do that, it was in our best interest to stay in Minnesota until the out West trip in the Summer. 

So here we are still in the winter wonderland of Minnesota and making plans for some cheap day trips around the state. So stay tuned, maybe we’ll be coming to you from someplace else in Minnesota. We dug out the Minnesota map and are making new plans to see maybe some things around Minnesota we haven’t seen before or in a really long time. 

The Joy is in the Journey

My Best Half and I have had enough of winter, ice and cold. So we decided it is time to take a trip South for a bit to see the sun, go where it is warmer and maybe even feel the ocean or gulf breeze on our faces. And now to figure out the packing for us and two canines. And Also to figure out where to go.

This week we have been looking at extended weather forecasts for the Southern United States. Anywhere from Florida to Arizona. Anywhere where the temps may climb above 50 degrees and there is no snow or ice to slip and slide on. 

We have spent the past few weeks also debating taking the C.O.W. (Cabin On Wheels) or just taking the conversion van that has a bed in the back and some storage under the bed for cooking stuff and backpacks. Are we planning to go and park for a few weeks someplace warm…or are we going to travel cross country and see lots of stuff? That is what it boils down to for deciding. 

After a small discussion about how to travel, we decided the van alone would be fine for heading South. The C.O.W. for us is more of a place to stay and base camp up North. While it is a great little home away from home, it isn’t really needed as much for cross country travels like we do.It was great last year taking it to see some of the family in El Paso and staying for 3 weeks, but this trip we are planning a few days stay here and there. So the plan is to pack up Hannah Savanna ( the conversion van) and hit the road. We are still slightly up in the air, but it seems to be we are leaning to the South West .

So now to plan for packing for a road trip with just the van. A van that we will sleep in and cook out of at times when we are parked. A trip through the cold freezing weather on the way to warmth. And a trip with possible freezing temps on the flip side back. So packing for 2-3 climates is in order, I am thinking. That being said, the packing will need to be compact enough that we can stow everything away and still have room for 200 lbs worth of dogs who like to sprawl out everywhere. 

First thing needed before any packing will be to clean out the van. You see we had to have some part put in it last week and the whole engine cover was taken off to get at the fix. Which meant that the little table and storage area under the table had to be moved to the back of the van. And the nice runners and mats I had positioned to keep snow, salt and mud off the carpet up front also got flung to the back of the van. So before any packing, putting Hannah back together was the first order of business.

While there wasn’t much to clean and put back together, in the 10 degree weather it was to say the least…difficult. The plastic custom cut mats for the driver and passenger seats were just like they were left when they were flung backwards. They were frozen in unique and bizarre shapes. Not even close to how they should be placed around the front floor of the van. 

One of two things would need to happen…bring them all inside to thaw and rush back out to install them before they refroze, or just wrestle with them and get them sort of in place. Then blast the heater when we went to town for gas and press them in place. I chose the latter, only because the van was parked away from the house and I didn’t feel like making 3 trips back and forth to the house. Our driveway is glare ice and I was pretty much convinced I would wipe out on one of those 3 trips back and forth to the house. I don't have much faith in myself to stay in an upright position when walking this winter after 2 previous wipeouts.

So after what seemed like forever and freezing my bare hands trying to “shape” the mats, I finally got them smashed down enough that we could take it and go to the Kwik Trip. By the time we got there the mats were all pliable and put down in place. 

So here it is a few days later and I need to start seriously thinking about getting any of the things we will need for the camping part packed. For the most part I’m thinking of a cookstove and the camp cook kit and 2 mugs. Just enough to boil some water for coffee or tea and maybe heat a quick meal in a kettle. Otherwise most of the foods will be easy stuff I can store and open on the spot. And of course, there will be some eating out at local cafes and places. I always enjoy that part of vacation. Except once when we were in Louisiana and I ordered the Cajun platter.

We were at a local bar and grill in a tiny town way down in South Louisiana along the Gulf. I had always wanted to try local Cajun food and not just the box rice from the stores up here or a chain restaurant . 

When I got my meal, it looked incredible and smelled delicious. On the platter were 3 or 4 different seafood items and some hushpuppies and rice. I dove into the meal and within about 15 seconds, I truly thought my mouth was going to explode. Cajun food down South is nothing like what you would get in Minnesota where we don’t exactly spice our foods with heat. This food burned all the way down my throat and into my stomach, my eyes were tearing up, and I could barely speak. I washed it down with water, which is the wrong thing to do. I should have ordered milk. 

All the while that I was tasting each food item, praying the next wouldn’t be so spicy, my Best Half was thoroughly enjoying his non-Cajun meal watching the entertainment across from him where I was sitting and breathing fire from my mouth. I learned that night, I will never order Cajun food from a local place down South. 

But as usual I have digressed. Back to getting ready to head out on a vacation. I decided making a list before I start packing may be more beneficial being we are probably  traveling through 3 seasons. I will need to pack for temps 0 to 70. And we will mostly be camping in the van. 

I decided to work from the outside in, meaning a list of the stuff we will need for the van and sleeping in it down to the last list of packing our clothes for the change of temps as we drive down and then heading back into Winter. Last year coming back from El Paso we went from 65 above when we left Texas to -11 below when we got to Kansas. It was brutal. We had driven too late to find a place to stay so opted for a truck stop. And our gas furnace did not work. Needless to say, that was the morning we woke up to the 2 dogs burrowed under the sleeping bags with us. The keeping one paw on the ground rule when snuggling went out the minute the temperature went below zero. It definitely was a 2 dog night, they helped keep us warm that night. 

I have come to realize that half the fun and stress of taking a trip in the Winter here in Minnesota is more of an adventure than the actual trip sometimes. The prepping for all kinds of temperatures, and getting the vehicle ready is half the journey. The lists, the digging out stuff to take along “just in case” and the survival packing all play into the bigger picture of the trip. I remember the last lines of a poem I once read that said, “the joy is in the journey, not at the journey’s end”. I guess this holds true oftentimes in life as well as in packing for a Winter trip to who knows where. We may not know where we are going, but we’re making progress to get there. 

Uncle Sam Doesn't Want Me

Well it is that time of year again when I have to start making the preparations to get our taxes done. You know that time of year that you pray you have kept out enough deductions so that Uncle Sam won’t come a calling and collect money. That day of the year when you hope you can disappoint the government by actually getting something back on the return.

For the past few years we have had a person do our taxes just for my peace of mind. For many years I did our taxes and itemized every little thing I could remember. I would fill in all the forms and millions of lines, add all the W-2’s and stick it all in an envelope or file it online. And then wait…hoping and praying that I filled everything in to the IRS’s satisfaction, hope all calculations were accurate and then pray really hard that I wouldn’t get audited. Because if that happened, well let’s just say I doubt I could argue with the IRS lying in the fetal position sucking my thumb. Because that is the vision I have of me doing taxes and being audited.

A few decades ago when we just had to deal with each of our W-2’s, our mortgage interest, and a few other deductions I did our taxes. One year we had replaced some windows and I put in for the energy credit the government was allowing. 

I read all the instructions on the form from the IRS and plugged in all the numbers and did the calculations. It showed we would receive about $90 extra back on the refund. So I finished all the forms and put 2 stamps on the envelope and sent it off to Provo Utah which is where Minnesota was to send taxes to the IRS back then. Remember this is decades ago with no home internet at all. I am not even sure faxing ability was around yet. It was prehistoric times.

Anyway, I sent the taxes in and then the wait for the refund check would begin. Imagine my surprise when about 3 weeks later I got a letter from the IRS. Thinking it was our refund, I ripped it open, only to find a letter and some blank forms. The letter explained that we were receiving a random audit on our taxes for the year! I found my heart rate picking up pounding in my ears, and I felt like I may puke my guts out. All the TV shows I had ever seen with people getting audited by the IRS were flashing back to me. You know the ones where big rich mob syndicates were under investigation and sitting with their lawyer going over the books. 

After calming down a bit, I went through the forms and paperwork. They were questioning our energy credits and felt we owed them $86.12. Yes 20 plus years later I can remember the amount they wanted. The amount that probably would put me in jail if I didn’t pay. I sat down and filled out the forms they requested and made out a check to the IRS for $86.12. I just wasn’t going to fight it, I figured they were the IRS and I could never beat them. Besides, I liked life on the outside better than I think I would like jail.

I once again mailed out the forms to the IRS in Utah and waited. And then waited some more. After a month, I finally received a letter from the IRS. I figured it was more paperwork to keep me out of jail. But when I opened it there was our refund check and another check for $113.54. The extra check was the energy credit refund.Someone in Utah had done the math once again and looked at the return and decided my calculations had been right after all. The extra $27.42 was interest in the $86.12 I had paid them from the audit. Imagine my surprise to think the IRS actually was honest and returned my money to me.

After that year of doing our taxes, I hated doing them even more than I ever did before. But I kept doing them until the IRA and 401 accounts were set up. And we refinanced the house to lower interest rates. It became a massive amount of extra forms, and calculations. I was about 95% sure I was doing them wrong and we were going to get audited again. We, mostly me, decided it was time to have someone who knew what they were doing handle it.

So a call was made to our financial planner guy who had a tax person on their staff. About a month before tax season we were sent a packet of information they would need to do our taxes. All the forms we would get in the mail, all of our W-2’s, any things we may have paid sales tax on, and so on. Basically all the things I had to gather in the past for taxes, I needed to gather for the tax person. And then drive it over to the office in the next town over which was 20 miles one way. 

So I spent an entire day gathering all the info and forms that arrived in the mail and drove them over to the tax guy. As I was driving over, I started asking myself, “why the heck am I doing this, putting all the info together just so the tax person can plug the numbers into the 1040 forms and the others? And then get paid his cut. 

But then I remembered reading through all the forms and the instruction book they sent from the IRS. And all the new rules and forms. And the amount of time it consumed actually completing the forms. And the chance of getting audited. While I am honest in our tax doings, I sure don’t know much about them. As I drove over, my mind relaxed a bit and I was able to turn in all the info and walk away. Within a week there would be the refund deposited online to our account. 

This week I have started the hunting and gathering of all the needed tax info to drive over to our tax guy. And it never seems to get any easier on my end. It has been about 5 years since we started having someone else do our taxes. And I have to say each year I still question if it is worth having someone else do them when  I am doing all the work gathering the stuff. And for us, I have come to the conclusion it is my way of treating myself to not having to do the forms and then pray I did it correctly, or at least well enough to keep me out of jail. Yeah, it is always a good thing when uncle Sam doesn’t want me. 

Kwik Trip Conversations

Sitting here this morning looking out my office window, I am watching the flag that’s in the yard whipping in the wind. I just listened to the weather and the temperature is 11 above for the moment. But I am watching as the winds pick up and the thermometer is dropping. Today’s forecast…falling temps into the -17 below range with wind chills in the -35 below range. Even the bird feeders are vacant this morning. It is once again blowing and cold enough to freeze your face in a few minutes if left uncovered when outside.

But, it’s Minnesota and that’s what we do best, talk about the weather. If you live in Minnesota, wherever you go you will always find the topic of the weather being discussed wherever 2 or more are gathered, especially this time of the year. I have often heard that a person can tell another is from Minnesota by the amount of time spent talking about the weather. Not many other places do that, unless there are major storms or changes going through the area. Minnesotans…well we talk about the weather a lot throughout the day throughout all the seasons.

I was up at the Kwik Trip the other day and while I was waiting to pay, I listened in on different conversations as others were waiting in line. Most started out with an exasperated look. You know that look, take a deep breath, shake your head, roll your eyes just a bit, and exhale out through your mouth as you go to stand in line to pay. And as others look at you in understanding, someone will more than likely get the conversation going about the weather. It starts like this…

“Cold enough for ya”

“You betcha”

“Thermometer up town says -20, but it's sittin’ in the sun, so I know it’s colder out at my place.”

“Them winds are pickin’ up too. I heard -40 below windchills today.”

“Well at least the mosquitoes aren’t buzzin’”

And that being said, everyone will nod their head in agreement and go back to facing the cashier as they wait in line. Until the next person gets in line and does the exasperated look. Then the ones in the back of the line will start the conversation all over again. We always welcome those newcomers to Kwik Trip with conversation while waiting in line to pay for the coffee or milk in a bag.

Kwik Trip is one of the best places up town to get the forecast or just chat with others for a few minutes. Conversations are usually light and weather related and they don’t get too in depth so as to scare a person off. In the Summer, while waiting to pay for a box of nightcrawlers for fishing…the conversations usually lead to more conversations about the weather and then fishing. It is a great place to find out what lakes the fish are biting. 

Whether you are a newcomer to entering a Kwik Trip or an old timer who has been gassing up there since they opened a few years ago, you are always welcomed by the crowd inside. So grab yourself a coffee or a pop and stand in line with us for a bit. We’ll see you next time…

Knit 1, Purl 2...Cabin Fever Has Arrived

Every year around this time, when we are well into Winter, but oh so far from Spring it happens. Cabin fever starts to set in at our house. You know, that feeling like you have been confined to the same space for days, weeks and now months. That feeling that puts you a little more on the edge and cranky side

The dictionary describes cabin fever as ”irritability, listlessness, and similar symptoms resulting from a long confinement or isolation indoors during the winter.” Some of the words used to describe cabin fever are , “ climbing the walls, seasonal affective disorder or S.A.D. , winter blues”, and my favorite…”temporary insanity” 

While it is not an official diagnosis, Cabin Fever is a real thing that does happen to some people here in the North during the Winter months. And for the most part, we deal with it and get over it either when Spring happens or we decide to bust out and go out often into the elements. Either way, here in Minnesota, most of us survive Cain Fever each year. And as I age, I do have the hope that it sometime will just dissolve without much fanfare and notice by others. I am still waiting for that moment in my life…when I get to the age where I don’t get sucked into cabin fever. But for now, I am entering that season in life for the next few months or so.

I was down in the basement this morning, longingly looking at my E-bike that I so love to ride. It just sat there collecting dust with a pile of dead box elder bugs lying next to it. I for old time's sake sat on my beauty and gripped the handlebars as if to push the throttle and take off down the road for a 20 mile ride. But I just sat there staring out the window at the 4 feet of snow on the ground. So I trudged back upstairs and closed the basement door for what will probably be another 4-5 months. 

Last week I bought a cheap exercise bike off Marketplace so I could at least pretend to bike and keep my legs active working out pedaling to nowhere as I overlook winter from the deck door in the family room. I got it not only for the exercise, but also to keep my legs moving in a longer stride. We have had lots of snow and then some melting and freezing, making it slippery walking outside. I have taken a few dives onto the ground this Winter and to quote my Best Half…”We don’t bounce like we used to”.  

So for most of us walking through parking lots and running down the road to get the mail, we do the “Penguin Shuffle”. If you’re from around here you know what I am describing. That bundle up so you can barely move your upper body and then take tiny shuffling steps as you feel for slippery ice underfoot. You walk about the pace of an overly slow, chunky Penguin. After doing the Penguin Shuffle for a day of errands my legs get really sore from tensing up and not taking a normal stride. I am hoping the stationary bike will do the trick for the next months to keep my legs in shape and free of pain from winter walking. Time will tell.

And last but definitely not least, the endless darkness here from November to about March when we turn the clocks forward ties so much into cabin fever hitting our household. It is darkness when awakening in the morning and darkness by about supper time. That darkness seems to take its toll by ending the day’s activities around 6 pm. Unlike Summer when it is daylight until 10 pm or longer and outdoor activities abound, the Winter months seem to find me flopped out on the couch watching tv every evening. 

To combat complete  vegetation on the couch, I like to knit as I sit there. Along with a knitting machine that will crank out items fast, at night I will take to hand-knitting with needles. Somehow knitting while watching tv doesn't seem as wasteful of my time. I have recently been knitting mittens and socks. My sock drawer is stuffed with warm wool socks (more than I will ever need) and my grandkids here in Minnesota have enough mittens to afford losing some and still have pairs. I have been instructed that no more mittens need to come their way…or hats, or slippers, or socks. 

I have since moved on to using up all the scraps of yarn and making a blanket or maybe a rug. Actually I am not sure what it will be when done as it is all the really bulky yarn someone gave me a few years ago. But none of it matches. There are purple, black, red, stripes and a tweed. I decided last night to just start knitting and see what happens. Yes this is what cabin fever has come to look like at our house. 

This morning as I look out over the yard, watching the birds at the feeder, I realized how bad I have cabin this Winter. I am watching the 5 squirrels who swing from the feeders eating all the bird feed and realize that I have names for all of them. And for the pileated woodpeckers that check in from time to time. And in the early morning hours when I am looking out the window, there are at least 7 rabbits who all go by the name of “Bun-Bun”. They have all become my neighbors this Winter. I have yet to invite them in for peanut butter and bird seed sandwiches, so I think I am ok for now. But in the remote event that anyone hears of that happening…send help. Happy Mid-winter to all my friends in the yard and all you 2-legged humans farther away. Hang in there, we’ve got this!

From a Distance...Monday Morning Music

As any one of you knows who has been listening and following this podcast or our blog the past couple years, you know I love to make music with my grandkids. Over the past few years I have taught some to play the guitar and the ukulele and even the mandolin and strum stick. While some were living with us we would get together every Monday morning for music time. 

Since everyone moved out, the house has been rather quiet in regards to making music together. The physical distance has been keeping us from making music these days. And I have to say, I miss it terribly. So my grand-daughter in California and I decided to do something about it a few weeks ago. 

While it is way harder than sitting in a room together, we have been sending a song back and forth to each other to add a recording to it. It is our first attempt and it has been quite interesting to say the least. 

Since I am not a music producer it is nowhere near great, but it has fulfilled coping with that sense of loss some of us have had with everyone out of state and unable to make music together. It started with the song and learning it, then recording the guitar and me singing it. After that the file was sent to the grand-daughter to sing along, and extra tracks of mandoline, ukulele, harmonica, and strum stick (much like the sound of a banjo with only 3 strings) were added. 

This song is a very old song called Angel Band, taken from some old Hymnals. It was recorded by Ralph Stanley years ago. This is our long distance version with my grand-daughter, Bonnie, out in California. We enjoyed the facetime together while we figured it out. I Hope you can enjoy the song and process of long distance Monday Morning Music.

You can listen to the recording over on the website: www.solidrockminnesota.com

Angel Band

Jefferson Hascall

My  latest sun is sinking fast      

My race is nearly run

My strongest trials they now have passed

My Triumph now has begun

Oh, come, the angel band

Come and around me, stand

Oh bear me away on your snow white wings

To my immortal home… 

  

Oh bear my longing heart to Him

Who bled and died for me                              

Whose blood now cleanses all from sin           

And gives me Victory

I’ve almost gained my heavenly Home     

My spirit softly sings         

The Holy Ones behold they come         

and I hear the sound of wings…

A Clippin' and a Whippin' for Max

Bringing Max Home

This past week I finally got around to giving Max, the 90 lb Labradoodle, a “clipping and a whipping” as we refer to it here. Before any animal rights people get after me, we don’t actually whip our animals. It is just the opposite. Let me explain. 

Max is our 4 year old crazy and loveable mutt. Yes I call him my mutt. He has no fancy papers with his lineage, no crowns of reigning champions in any of his relatives. He is just Max, the mutt. And probably one of the best dogs I’ve ever had in my life. Not only is he a handsome (well at least in the eyes of the beholder) furry and curly haired “designer dog” , he is a supportive and gentle giant of a friend. 

We got Max about 4 years ago from a farm up North of us. They had a litter of Labradoodle pups that were about 10 weeks old. I had contacted the owner and asked if I could come out and see his puppies. So we drove North a bit and came upon a litter of squiggly, furry puppies in all colors. There were cream colored ones, tan ones, and merle looking ones. All with beautiful curly fur and unique colors. They all came bounding out of the house through their “doggie door” and ran over to us. The last one out was a dorky looking black puppy with wiry fur and a white spot on his chest. He ambled up to me and kind of reminded me of that old cartoon character Baby Huey. He was big and goofy looking and oh so attentive to us compared to the other pups. He interested me and so along with the other pups I watched him and how he fit himself in the litter pecking order. He wasn’t really at the top or at the bottom of the pecking order. He just was there amidst the other 8 puppies. But he kept coming over to me and looking up as if to beg me to pick him up. So I knelt down by him to see what he would do. While all the other pups were busy sniffing around or following the mama dog, this pup just sort of hung out and sat by me while I petted him and messed with his head and ears and back legs and rolled him over to scruff his belly. Nothing I did got him excited or scared. He just went along with what I was doing without fear or any hesitation at being handled. He was definitely piquing my interest. Until I asked the price and about fell over in amazement at the cost of a lab/poodle mixed breed dog. While I was expecting to pay for a puppy, I never realized that the designer dogs were going for the same or more than a registered AKC purebred canine. 

Our plan when we were looking for another dog was to train it as a hearing dog for my Best Half. His Australian Shepherd, Rainey at the time was 10 and slowing down a bit. I like to train dogs for a purpose and a job and Rainey was rescued from an Aussie rescue place when she was a pup. She was smart and caught on quickly at how to become the “ears” for my Best Half. By the time she was 2, she was going with him when I couldn’t and warning him of cars coming up behind him and of people calling out his name. She was good at keeping him safe. And my thought was to get a puppy and start training it to follow in Rainey’s paws and become a hearing dog and hopefully the pup would be ready about the time Rainey was ready to retire in a couple years. 

I told the owner of the litter of pups what my intentions were with a new pup and after visiting for a while, we came to a good and affordable price for a pup. The owner of the litter was willing to let me find a pup for a much less and affordable price. But he had to weed out the pups he knew people would pay more money for. The ones basically that were really curly and had color in their coats. So that left 2 little black pups. I watched the two pups a bit longer as they played and wandered around the farm. Eventually I knelt down and gave a squeaky kiss to them both. And only one wiry haired black pup with a white spot on his chest came running and landed in my arms. That pretty much sealed the deal after calling him to me a few more times. And that is how Max came to be with us.

The next few months training Max were pretty interesting. Max came home with us and fit in quite well with the other 2 dogs, Rainey and Zoe. He ran around the farm and field with the other 2 and always came running when we called for him. I took him to obedience classes for a few months to get him around lots of other dogs and commotion and watched him do pretty much anything I would ask of him. But every time I would ask him to sit or stay or go into a down position…well let’s just say, he had to take several seconds to think about it and process it. Kind of like he was checking around to see if there was a better deal out there than what I was asking.Unlike Rainey, who would  use turbo speed to follow directions, Max was quite a bit slower on the uptake. When I would ask him to sit he would appear to weigh his options and then finally sit. While he was and still is an incredibly obedient dog, he always needs to think a few moments before he responds. You see Max’s personality is really laid back and mellow. Not much will rile him. He just like to process his options.

After several months of working with Max to come and sit and go into a down position, his speed just didn’t improve. No amount of treats or praise from us humans could get him moving any faster.  He just pretty much has one speed when it comes to being in working mode…and that is pokey. When he was about 9 months old it became pretty obvious to us that he was not going to be much of a hearing dog for my Best Half. By the time he would notify the human of a car approaching from behind, they would be roadkill. He just didn’t have the speed to make for a good hearing dog. 

Max was an easily trained dog when it came to basic politeness and obedience. He wouldn't ever jump on a person, he wouldn’t bite a soul, and he always manages to be right next to me waiting for a job, any job to make him feel needed. So after realizing he’d be a really poor hearing dog, I needed to find a different job for him. Something to keep his brain sharp, but not anything requiring anything with a fast decision.

I started with a few small things for him to do. Like when I would drop something he would pick it up for me. He wouldn’t immediately bring it to me, but after making a spin around and a dodge from Zoe, he would hand the item to me in my hand. So began his training to help me around the house. He’s been taught to gather the dirty laundry, pick up toys after the grandkids leave, and my favorite…at night when I am on the couch knitting and the ball of yarn falls and rolls on the floor, Max will bring it to me. And I have to say he has gotten much better at taking a direct route back to me than even 6 months ago. He can be sound asleep and if I drop something, he comes running up to help. Not bad for the dog who needs to process his tasks before doing them. He has found his niche in what is expected of him.

Along with picking up stuff for me, he also has become proficient in bracing for me to pull myself off the couch or recliner. I have times when my back and leg will stiffen up and make it really hard to stand up from the chair or couch. I have gotten quite used to calling Max to “Come Brace”. He will plod on over and face me sideways with his legs spread out to take the weight of me holding onto his back as I stand up. He’s gotten very proficient and patient at bracing and assisting. A few weeks ago I was standing on a chair and fell off backwards to the floor, hitting my head and landing on my tailbone. It took me a few seconds lying there to see if anything felt broken. And there stood Max braced and ready, waiting for me to get up. And with him braced and standing there, I managed to literally crawl up his back and stand next to him. He stood there for many seconds until the room stopped spinning. That day, that dog was worth his weight in dog bones.

Max and I have an understanding. We take care of each other. He helps me around the house and I keep him fed and groomed so he doesn’t look like a shaggy mutt that is on the run with no home just waiting for the pound to pick him up.

Every 4 or 5 months Max needs clipping. I started clipping him myself when he was just a pup. And he has always tolerated it well.So well that he just plops down and sleeps through all the brushing and the clippers running over every inch of his body. When it is time for him to roll over to get the other side clipped, I wind up having to lift him and roll him over. No easy job with a 90 lb. dog. He may open his eyes to see what’s happening, but usually he doesn’t even blink as I am grunting and heaving and pulling him to flip over. He becomes completely dead weight from start to finish of his clipping. By the time we are done, almost 2 hours will go by and I am whipped. Yeah he gets the clipping and I get the whipping.